Bloviations

Dear Jacksonville Daily News:

Reminder: Please fix your RSS feeds.

Also, send Lindell Kay to public speaking classes. He let the Fox News douche Shepard Smith talk all over him on Studio B today.

Your Reader,

Thomas.

Dear Onslow County Sheriff Ed Brown:

Please hire a public information officer. Your poor performance while speaking to national media has only strengthened the stereotype of the “backwards North Carolinians.”

Also, don’t ever tell anyone you’ve used a “divining rod” to search for a body during an investigation. It makes you look foolish and rest of us look stupid for electing you.

By the way, about three minutes after Shepard Smith ran all over Lindell Kay, he had a career defense attorney on. The guy said you’re doing a great job of providing Cesar Laurean’s defense team with ammunition. Do us all a favor, please: Stop talking.

Your Constituent,

Thomas.

Dear North Carolina General Assembly:

Thanks for the F.

If nothing else, at least it’s a predictable consolation prize that the Jacksonville Daily News‘ editorial staff supports you.

Your Constituent,

Thomas.

Dear Megs:

No forgiveness is necessary. Focus on what you’re doing and we’ll be here.

Promise.

Your Friend,

Thomas.

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